I hate it when the boys are sick.
If I could take it all away, I would.
So, we have been home these past few days. And that is okay with me.
I like being home, getting things done around the house, throwing a batch of bread in the bread machine early in the morning and letting the smell settle somewhere deep in my soul for the rest of the day. The laundry pile is down to almost nothing, the rooms are neat and tidy.
But I do not like it when my boys are sick.
There is something about the dark circles under their eyes, the damp hair plastered onto feverish foreheads, the small warm body pressed close, searching for comfort and for mom to "make it all better." And sometimes, I can't. Sometimes, my everything isn't enough. And it seems like they are sick so often when they are so small. It makes me feel helpless.
I want to protect them from . . . well, everything.
But I can't.
I can, however, hold them close, wipe their brow, hold a tissue while they blow their nose, give their medicine, sing a song, rock to sleep.
I can pray.
And later, when it is other things, other hard-balls life will throw at them, I will wish just as much that I could take it all away.
I will long to protect them from . . . well, everything.
But I will have to let them grow, let them become the men they will become.
I can, however, hold their hand, listen to their hearts, speak encouragement to their souls, love them always.
I can pray.
This motherhood stuff is tough, sometimes.
I wouldn't trade it for the world!
And, sometimes, when I think it is too hard to watch my sons languish on the couch, fever ridden and sick, I think of a Father who watched his innocent son brutally beaten; a mother, who watched her perfect son die a criminal's death. I think of the anguish of that. And I look at my sons, who another son died to save and to heal, and I am flooded with thankfulness and awe at the goodness of One who would come who can do more for our children then us mothers can ever hope to do.
And I praise.
If he can't get outside, he can at least look at outside.
Even sick, is this kid beautiful, or what?
Dad and Josiah enjoy the Wii.
3 comments:
Yes, still beautiful!
I miss you guys! Hopefully he will be back at 100% soon and we can go on a Spring Break adventure.
"...searching for comfort and for mom to "make it all better." And sometimes, I can't. Sometimes, my everything isn't enough."
It's the same for fathers too. I'd say this is one of the hardest things to come to terms with as a parent. There are many things we can and do control for our children, but there are many other things that just happen, sickness being just one. It's part of our learning, and theirs as well, that Jesus is the only sufficient one; that He is the only one with more than enough for both parent and child. It's in those moments that we must teach (impress) (and believe ourselves), "Buddy, I can't do anything for you right now, but I know that God can!"
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