Sunday, February 6, 2011

Because sometimes you need to start over . . .

So, I haven't done much blogging these days.
The reasons are varied, and some of the reasons aren't reasons at all.
They are excuses. Plain and simple.
And while I have let blogging get away from me, I haven't gotten away from it.
It lurks in every blue sky day.
In every amazing thing my boys say.
It haunts every take-my-breath-away moment, and asks "how would you write this . . ." in the ordinary ones.
I want to write about everything . . . and then, when I don't, I have blogging guilt.
Blogging guilt. Really? What the . . . ?
Some psychologist out there is thinking, "Hmmmmm . . ."
It's a whole new genre of pathology.
Who am I kidding? Psychologists are not reading this blog.
Enough of that.
I guess I just got to a point where I wasn't enjoying the ride. I focused on the pressure of producing something every day, or close to it. Of recording every moment. The joy ran out of it, so to speak.
But I miss the writing.
I miss it, and I feel like I've lost myself a bit without it.
And I want to enjoy the ride. Life is too short not to.
So, with . . . more realistic expectations? I will gingerly, and without rash promises ("I will blog every moment of every day for the rest of my life until my dying breath!!") reenter the blogosphere.
The thing is, I'm not content with the look here . . . and I am trying to figure out what to do about it.
In the meantime, I thought I'd try things out over here. I will keep this space too, and if I ever figure out how to make it amazing, I may be back.
I am excited about the move. I feel like I need to change a lot of things about myself and my life, and this is a symbolic shift of sorts.
Sometimes, you just need to start over . . . .

Thursday, September 2, 2010

But I digress . . .

I know I am supposed to be working on a "catch up" post.
And I am.
I think more went on this summer than I thought, and I'm still collecting photos and stories and memories to record here. For posterity.
But I want to write about today.
Today, the sun is shinning. Not just shinning, but gleaming off pavement still wet from last night's rain.
Today, I sip coffee just warm enough to feel like my insides are wrapped up in a cozy blanket. Irish cream.
Today, I listen to the sounds of students coming to this class and going to that one. I think about my boys in their classrooms. All of them. All learning new things, maybe even right now, this moment. A new seed planted. A discovery made. Eyes opened a bit wider to the world out there.
Daniel is in preschool this year. He loves it. I love it too, but I miss my little man! I offered to let him stay home today, just because. "Are my friends gonna come over?" he asked, before committing to anything. "No. They'll go to class with Miss Patti." He looked at me with that, "I love ya, mom, but my life is calling" look and chose preschool. Who can blame him? There are songs and centers and friends and good snacks and books and Miss Patti and lots of cool things to learn and play with at preschool. "Wellllll . . . I'm gonna go to school," he decided.
The hesitation in his voice warmed my heart.
I usually walk him in to school in the mornings, and hang around a bit to make sure he's doing well (he is only three, after all). Last week, on a morning he was feeling particularly confident, he turned to me as soon as we walked in and said, "Mom, you can get my jacket from the other building." "Oh, okay. I will get your jacket and be right back," I said cheerily. I thought he must be cold. "No, mom." he replied. And in a kind whisper he said, "You can leave this place now."
It was his way of letting me know he was okay. His way of telling me it was okay to go. And it was done with such tact for a three year old, don't you think?
And so, I kissed him, and walked out into the warm morning.
They get big so fast.
And while there is great satisfaction in watching them grow, it stings a bit too.
Daniel in preschool is just one of the ways life is changing, moving around here.
I feel like, lately, everything is.
Change is good.
It brings growth and opportunities.
But dang; it sure is hard sometimes.
One thing I have been reminded of lately, though, is that no matter what earthly things may change, God never does. There is no shadow of turning in him. He is a rock. A fortress. A God in whom we can trust.
The sun comes through the trees. Makes leafy patterns on the floor, the wall that leap and move and dance and  . . . change. But, the sun. The sun is right where it always has been, and in its light, the beautiful patterns play.

Monday, August 30, 2010

Gearing up

The dust is settling a bit around here, and I think it is time to get back to blogging.
This summer will forever be referred to by me as "the lost summer".
But, sometimes we have to lose things to gain other things; and so, at the end of this "lost" summer, we have a lovely place to come home to and to share with family and friends, a working knowledge of home improvement (I'm telling ya, I think I could do a segment on HGTV by now  . . ."And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you give your old cabinets a new finish!), a renewed sense that we did not, in fact, miss our calling to be contractors, and peace of mind that my mom will be cared for in her widowhood.
There is so much to say, so many stories to tell and things to share. It will take me a while to catch up. I have already begun a post which gives a little more detail about our summer. It will be forthcoming.
No, really. It will.
Blogging makes me feel alive. Helps me remember all the good things in my life. Gives me focus and sense of perspective that I seem to lose when I am not writing. I have missed it, and I am happy to be back in the blogosphere!
What makes you feel alive?

Monday, June 7, 2010

Good days . . .

Summer break is rolling on.
We've had beautiful weather! Skies so blue they make you ache for them to stay that way forever. Hot sun seeping into your bones, warming your skin.
I had a great weekend.
We worked pretty long and hard on mom's house last week, and it is almost ready for her to move downstairs. Then, we can finish remodeling upstairs (I still have four rooms to paint, two carpets to replace and a bathroom that needs to be redone . . .  and plenty of finishing touches and odds and ends) and can settle in.
Mom, the boys and I took some time off on Saturday to bring our friend, David, to the airport. The drive up was pleasant enough. We dropped David off and headed out for a Kansas City adventure!
Our first stop was Whole Foods. I don't know if you've ever been to a Whole Foods or not, but it is worth the experience!! We shopped a bit, picking out exotic and organic fare. Then we ate at the cafe', which was full of international delights as well as happily recognizable foods. We ate stone baked pizza, Roma style -- pepperoni for the boys and sun-dried tomato and chicken pesto for mom and I. Absolutely delish! And the portion was so big, one piece was enough to fill me up.
One of my favorite things I got while there is Living Basil. Grown locally, living basil is two basil plants, root systems and all, that you place in a container of shallow water and set on your counter and viola'!! Fresh basil anytime!! We got one for grandpa too. It fills the kitchen with that earthy, slightly minty scent, and it drives me wild! I want to put fresh basil on  . . . everything!
I am thinking I need to take another trip there soon!
Once we were full and weighted down with goodies to bring home, we moved on to Boarders Books. Ahhhhh. When I walk into a bookstore like that, I literally have one of those sky-parting-and-glorious angel-voices-ringing-out experiences! Seriously. I have to catch my breath. Books, books and more books! I could die happy in a bookstore.We took our time and looked around. Isaac got two new books he was wanting. Josiah got a Percy Jackson action figure of Zeus (he is very excited that he will be studying the ancient Greeks and Romans in history next year, and is eating that kind of stuff up! He took a child's version of The Odyssey out of the library last week, and he told me he wants a Roman room, complete with pillars! He also composed a letter to the Lego company asking if they will design a Mt. Olympus Lego set with mini figs of all the gods and other heroic mythological characters. He thinks it would be fun to have it in his classroom and just plain cool to own!). Daniel got a set of The Farmer in the Dell stacking cards. The farmer is on a tractor on the first card, and he loves it! He can sing the song well, too.
I got a couple of books, one of which was a copy of Pearl S. Buck's The Good Earth, which I have never read, but have always wanted to. It was $3.99!! You just gotta love that!
After dragging me out of that store (I still have carpet fibers under my fingernails!!), we went on to Vintage Stock, a buy/sell/trade store that sells music, movies and video games, and I was able to get Joe's Father's Day gifts there. One gift is something he has been wanting for a long time, so I am pretty excited about it.
With a long drive ahead of us, we packed back into the car and headed for home . . . with a pit stop at Dunkin' Donuts for an iced coconut coffee and some munchkins for the road, of course! Yum!!
I usually get lost on the way home from the airport, but thanks to a friend's gps and my son, Isaac, we made it back without a hitch. Isaac was a tremendous navigator. Calm and calculating, he would say in his even tone, "Mom, you want to get over one because this is an exit only lane, and this is not the exit you want." or "Mom. You need to be on the right because the next exit is the one you want." Even when I was nervous and second guessing the directions, white-knuckled and hunched up over the steering wheel, he remained cool and never changed his matter-of fact, certain tone. I told him later that it made me feel good to know that he was going to be "that guy" who will be able assess and anticipate a situation, and will know just what to do.
We got home and the boys still had enough daylight to go for a swim before dinner. I threw some chicken nuggets, fries and fish sticks in the oven, but I still was not hungry from that piece of pizza I had at Whole Foods, so I snacked on crusty, chewy Italian peasant bread with fresh basil leaves and a little seasoned e.v.o.o. (extra virgin olive oil).
It was a near perfect day. The only thing that could have made it perfect perfect was if Joe had been with us. He had to work that night, and stayed in town to get stuff done at mom's and sleep before his shift. I kinda like him, so I miss him bunches when he is not around.
Yesterday was another bright, sunny day, and we had a house-full after church. All the kids got into the pool, and there was lots of laughing all around. We had a grand time.
After everyone left, Mom and I went birthday shopping for Daniel, who will be three on Friday.
I can remember every second of having him so vividly. Now, he is potty training and learning to swim and talking up storms and getting ready for pre-school.
It goes too fast, I'm telling you.
And I've had those bad days . . . the ones where you think, "If we can just make it to five, five will be a better age . . . "
But really, I don't want time to fly any faster than it already is. I am soaking up the moments. Trying to memorize Daniel's two-going-on-three baby face; the sweet, sweet sound of his voice; the feel of the weight of him against my chest when I hold him; his baby bath smell.
As much as I know I am done having babies, there is an ache in knowing there will be no more two-going-on-three-year-olds after this.
So I hold him close and breathe him in. I listen to his stories and songs. We play trains on the floor and let the dishes in the sink be darned!
Trying to memorize him at this age makes me remember more and more my other boys at this age, too.
Being a mom is one of the best things that has ever happened to me!
Some funny potty training stories . . . one of the first days we had big boy undies on Daniel, he came running out to me from the other room, clutching himself and chanting, "My pee-pee's leaking! My pee-pee's leaking!" And yesterday, when he was sitting on the potty before leaving for the store, he was trying and trying but just didn't have to go. "Mom, it's not working right now . . . " he explained. He makes me smile. He makes me giggle. He makes me laugh out loud.
The training is going well. It has it's ups and downs, but I think Daniel is doing a stellar job!
Today, it is storming. I woke up to thunder and lightning and canceled swim lessons. Boo.
There is VBS this week. Isaac is too old to go as a participant this year (dear Lord, can he just stop growing for a minute?!), but he is helping out as one of the crew leaders. The week will end with a pot luck and family prayer time.
We are also looking forward to Daniel's birthday on Friday.
And, as always, we will be plugging away at the house.
I love the summer.
I love tall glasses of pink lemonade, sipped with friends. I love the blue cool of pool water and hot streaks of sun. I love the coconutty smell of sunscreen. I love the possibility . . . the having to decide, what to do today? I love the fresh berries warm from  vines and bushes. And salads right out of the garden. I love the long days. The purple haze twilights. The grasshopper's meloncholy symphony at close of day.
I leave you with this poem I came across yesterday, and fell in love with. The sound of crickets takes me back  . . . . And this is a Keats I am not familiar with. I am so glad I found it now.

28. On the Grasshopper and Cricket
THE POETRY of earth is never dead:
  When all the birds are faint with the hot sun,
  And hide in cooling trees, a voice will run
From hedge to hedge about the new-mown mead;
That is the Grasshopper’s—he takes the lead        5
  In summer luxury,—he has never done
  With his delights; for when tired out with fun
He rests at ease beneath some pleasant weed.
The poetry of earth is ceasing never:
  On a lone winter evening, when the frost        10
    Has wrought a silence, from the stove there shrills
The Cricket’s song, in warmth increasing ever,
  And seems to one in drowsiness half lost,
    The Grasshopper’s among some grassy hills.

December 30, 1816.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Do the next thing . . .

My grandmother was a meticulous housewife, a pastor's wife, a mom of four, and later an active grandmother and great-grandmother who always thought ahead to have little treats and projects on hand for the kids to have and do when they came to her house. She did it all, and she did it all well.
Grandma lived by a simple yet effective principle. As an adult, when I would be feeling overwhelmed with housework and raising kids and running errands and contributing to our church and just . . . everything, I would call her and rattle off my list with dismay, and a big sigh at the end. Her answer was the same every time. "Just do the next thing, " she would calmly say. "And when that is done, do the next thing."
So simple.
What a great help that was to me many a day. There were days I could not face everything I had to do, but I certainly could face the next thing.
And more often than not, the days I worked out of the "do the next thing" principle were my most productive days, and I really did get through everything on my list, with time to spare!
With summer break officially underway, and the boys at home needing something to do seemingly every moment; with a large and ongoing remodeling project on my hands and a house to pack up; with new classes to teach in the fall and a brain that is already lesson planning for next school year, it is safe to say there are days that I feel completely overwhelmed.
And I want to reach for the phone. To call gram and hear her voice say, "Just do the next thing . . ."
Or to let her know that I hear her voice in my ear, and it helps me make it through. It helps me do the next thing.
Unfortunately, blogging has been my next, next, next thing on the list lately, which is why it's been several weeks of silence here.
But believe me, life has certainly been going on behind the scenes!!!
Mostly, I am working on our new house. Right now, plans are to be moving in with mom by August 1st. But I have made sure there is still time to sit outside with the kids and enjoy some simple summer fun!!
Daniel will be three in one week . . .a little less actually. I can't believe how time is flying. We are potty training and he is doing fairly well.
The other night, as he was going to bed, he commented to me that one of his boo-boos was going away and his skin was growing back. He was amazed at that, and asked why his boo-boo was going away. "Our skin heals, and regenerates." I said.
"Why?" he asked (yes, we are in that stage).
"Because that is how God made it." I answered.
"God made it that way?! Why? Because he loves me?!"
"Yes! He loves you very much!"
He was quiet for a moment and got a big grin on his face and said, "God is the best boy!"
Gosh, I love this age!
All the potty training frustrations and two-going-on-three year old crazy boy antics are so definitely worth that!!
Speaking of potty training . . . Daniel pooped on the potty the other day!! He walked into the bathroom, locked the door (which I promptly jimmied) and told me upon breaking in to the bathroom, "No, mom. I'm okay. I'll call you."
So, I left, and stood on the other side of the door, wondering at this little man who all of a sudden just decided to do this thing . . . and he did! He called me and there it was. A poop in the potty!! We danced and yelled out whoops of joy and gave him a whole dang bag of M&M's to do with as he pleased.
We were so proud of him.
Yesterday, he wore undies all day successfully.
See. I am so not a pusher on potty training. And when they are ready, it happens. No stress and pulling out of the hair and cleaning mess after mess. Just this wondering at your baby taking one more step away from baby-ness into . . . kid-hood.
So . . . I am off to the next thing, which happens to be a large pile of laundry that is threatening to animate and eat us all in a gory display . . . wish me luck.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Wacky Week

It is a tradition at our school that the week before the last week of school is a "wacky week." This means that the seniors get to decide the dress code for each day that week, and plan a school activity.
This year, there were pirates vs. ninjas on Monday . . .
My boys?
Argggg, mateys. Pirates, of course!
 Tuesday was buddy day. Each of our grammar school kids has a buddy in the upper grades. There was no crazy dress code that day, but all the kids had a field day with their buddies. It started off with a chapel together and there were outdoor activities like a scavenger hunt, a balloon toss, a game of capture the flag, and a picnic lunch. During the afternoon, all the kids had popcorn and watched Planet 51.
Daniel rode his tractor all around the school grounds, happy as could be. That boy is happiest on a John Deere. He just is.
 Wednesday was pajama day, and we had the pizza party for the winners of the writing and art contests.
Yesterday was wacky day. The wackier the get-up the better. Isaac went in "normal" clothes, because he figured on a day when everyone would be dressed in silly attire, the wackiest thing he could do was dress in plain ol' everyday duds.
My sweet Daniel stealing a kiss from me at my desk.
Today was 80's day.
Look at these guys . . . .
I went to high school with guys like this!
Talk about flashback . . . 
Joe played "Born in the USA" for the boys at breakfast, to get them in the spirit of things for the day ahead. I was singing along, bobbing my head. They looked at us like we were crazy.
Daniel has been napless for four days now. Is it the end of naps for him? He gets so tired, but he hangs in there, though he's pretty cranked out around 5:30ish.
Now, wacky week is over. Our last week of school waits on the other side of this weekend.
And then.
Then, it will be SUMMER BREAK!!!
The long summer days will stretch out before us like promises no one has made to us yet.
I feel like a kid.
I can't wait!
Summer dreams fill my head . . . I wonder when we will see the first firefly . . . I imagine cook-outs with friends . . . I think about long trips and friendly visits and days spent at the park . . . I picture us reading out under our shade trees . . . and cutting through the sun-glazed blue pool water . . . I conjure the smell of the coconut oils in the gobs of sunscreen we will use . . .I can taste the countless glasses of icy sweet teas and lemonades  . . .
I am ready for Summer.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Lists . . .

I'm a list person.
This means, I like to make endless lists of things to do, places to be, things to read or watch or listen to, meals to cook . . . the list goes on, you get the picture.
Lists are one way I keep the jumbled mess of information in my mind straight.
Lists are straight-forward.
 Which is why I love verses like this one I read this morning:
"Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer." Romans 12:12
A list!
Believe it or not, the Bible is full of them.
And granted, while this list involves a bit more heart and soul work than just "feed the cats, make the beds, do the dishes . . . " it is still a simple set of instructions given by an equipping Father who does not leave us in the dark about what we are to do and how we are to live out our Christian lives.
These list items bring more than just cleanliness of home, but a clean spirit, they provide more than food for the table, but nourishment of the soul. There is not merely a sense of impermanent accomplishment with the ticking off of these "to dos", but rather a peace and wellness of heart, mind and body when we remember "to do" these things.
So . . . top of my "to do" list today?
Be joyful.
Be patient.
Be faithful.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

What the sun does . . .

after a stormy day, is this . . . .
Pink sky sunset. This is how yesterday made its exit. Stunning.

What the sun does after a stormy night, is this . . . .
Glory you can see. God's fingertips reaching down, touching earth with just a glimpse. Makes me giddy to witness. This gift. Heavens open. Split-second shekhinah.
Unfortunately, the sun made only this brief appearance today.
We had a school track meet which was met with a damp, cold rain most of the day.
All our kids were troopers, though, and most of them played through the weather.
Josiah and his good buddy Nathaniel were at it again, winning something together. I don't know . . . I'm starting to see a pattern here. These two seem to be born to win together. I really do believe there is a kindred spirit that they share.
Their first event was a three-legged race, and they worked together and crossed the finish line with speed and ease. It was so awesome to watch!
Josiah also participated in the running long jump, the 50 m dash and softball throw.
Isaac did the high jump, the 400 m and the shot put.I'm not sure yet how they placed in all their events. I think they both placed in everything they participated in though. We'll find out next week at school.
By the time we got home, we were chilled through, but some hot pasta e fagoli  and tales of victory around the table at Grandpa's house were just what we needed to warm our bones.
Here are some pics from the day.
Our day was full, and long, but it was so good.
We are home now.
And we are warm. Inside and out.
The boys are eating oatmeal cookies and drinking hot cocoa.
There is sleep hanging like heavy curtains about to close in their eyes.
But there is something else too.
There is victory.
There are dreams which became memories which will be dreams again . . . in just a little while.

Friday, April 30, 2010

Stormy weather . . .

(image not my own)
Early morning.
The coffee brews. I hear it dripping. Smell the earthy tones in it drifting my way.
I inhale slowly, a long breath that makes me close my eyes, lift my head, let out a sigh.
That first sip of coffee is like a kiss.
I look out the window at a storm brewing outside.
The sky is so dark. Layers of gray. The clouds could be mistaken for mountains rising from ancient mists. Olympus floating by.
Wind gusts. The trees dance . . .not a waltz, but a furious dance. Their new green leaves tremble.
Grass bows low, waving to the whimsy of the wind.
I do not know what will happen today. Or tomorrow.
I cannot guess what the future holds.
There is no planning now. No agenda. No place to be.
Just here. Sitting. Sipping coffee. Snuggling with my small waking son.
I watch the storm come.
But there is a peace that passes knowing it is out there.

I have been thinking a lot, lately, about my life.
About what is good in it.
It is a long list. One I will write down one day. . . soon.
Those good things, those blessings and magical moments, those Divine encounters . . . they are what anchor me.
They enable me to watch the storm with quiet eyes and calm heart.
They help me remember there are things bigger, longer-lasting than storms.
And so, playing in grandpa's backyard with the boys in the late afternoon sun yesterday, sitting on the porch and talking with grandpa, coming together around the table for our weekly family dinner, watching Daniel and his dad bond on a John Deere against a pinking sun-set, spying young strawberries waiting to ripe-- life in my neglected garden, finding a dewy-eyed Peter Rabbit near our blackberry bushes, listening to our boys prayers before they climbed into their beds . . . those things are what I am thinking of this morning as I watch through my window the dark skies gather outside and the grasses supplicate to a wild wind.
I draw Daniel close. I hear Joe working on things in the other room. I think of my boys at school across town.
I remember that He holds all things in His hands.
I take another sip.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Today . . .

Today the cool breeze blows through our windows, sweeping around the house.
The curtains that frame our large living room window billow out like sails.
Daniel climbs up on the bench in front of them.
"This is my stage!" he says.
This spot in front of the big picture window has been one of his favorite places for a long time. Usually, he sits in pensive mood, looking at the birds on the lawn and the cars riding past. Watching the world go by. Or he jumps up there when he hears a siren, looking for the excitement of a red fire truck whizzing by. And today, it is his stage. His place to explore his voice. To be "on".
He is so funny and so sweet. He lights my smile up from inside my face until I feel like it will crack, and I will become a ball of light and laughter, rising like the sun.
Who else can fill us with such feelings like our children?
No one.
Today, I am feeling better, but not yet my best self. I think the cool air, the sunlight that splatters on the walls and the floor beckoning to come out and play, the prospect of getting out of the house, will help.
Today, I will put one foot in front of the other. I will move forward. I will breathe.
Today, I will enjoy the simple blessings. I will smile at my sons. I will embrace my life and live it the best way I know how, and learn how to live it even better.
Today, I will bless the Maker of all things bright and beautiful. I will thank the Healer. I will remember the faithfulness.
Today is going to be a great day!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Once upon a time . . .

The other night, as I was reading a book to Daniel before bed, he said to me, "Mom, I wish I could get into that picture in the book. How do I get in there? I want to jump into that picture and be in the book!"
I know just how he feels.
There are many a book I would  love to fall into . . . .
I love that he feels that way about books. That he knows, even now, that they can take him places . . . far or near. That they create worlds. 
Life is still crazy busy here, though winding down a bit now.
The week after my last post, I was busy preparing for that Friday night, when our school had a spring concert centered around the theme "The Whole Earth is Filled with His Glory."
All our kids did such a great job singing and dancing and reciting poetry and prayers and playing instruments. I was so proud of all of them!
We also had a school wide writing contest, and the winners were announced during the concert, and winning entries were read.
Josiah won first place in his category (1st and 2nd grade cinquain), along with his good pal Nathaniel, and they both were the only two students to score a perfect score on their writing, so they both won best of show as well. He won a Sonic gift card for getting first place, a pizza party to be shared by all winners, and a writer's basket for getting best of show.
Isaac also won first place in the 5th-6th grade narrative category, and he took third place in the poetry contest.
Our kids pulled out their best to show their friends and family members that indeed, the whole earth is filled with His glory!
Isaac and Joe left right after the concert for a Boy Scout camp out. I stayed home and got the house ready for an open house we were having that Sunday, (All that work, and only one family came through! Oh well, at least it made me get my spring cleaning done!).
 Isaac got pretty sick while he was at camp, and it was a long recovery for him. He had a fever that he couldn't shake, ear infections in both ears and an upper respiratory infection. It was his first sickness of the year. He had perfect attendance up until that point, and he was sad to be missing school.
It was a short week anyway, because the teacher's went on a much needed retreat to a beautiful house nestled in the wooded banks of a river near Branson, Mo.
It was a wonderful time of refocusing and refreshing, listening to hearts, hearing and sharing encouragement, and looking ahead to the next school year.
The house was luxurious, to say the least, and the setting was beautiful . . . river winding behind the house that could be seen from the large windows and many decks, trees surrounding and shading. There was an amazing view from . . . everywhere!
 This is the kind of dinning table I want . . . BIG!
Unfortunately, while there, I got sick. A trip to the Urgent Care on Monday morning revealed that I had sinusitis, an upper respiratory infection and an inner ear infection that still has me not hearing much at all out of my right ear. Very annoying! I got a shot of antibiotics in my "rear-hind" as Daniel calls it, and some other strong medications to help alleviate symptoms of the infections.
Yesterday, I woke up sicker than I was the day before, not only from all the infections, but from negative reactions to the meds as well. I was sicker than I have been in a long time. I ran a high fever all day, had a headache that would not go away, and felt like I was going to throw up the whole time. My skin turned a bright red color all over, and I felt like I was burning from the inside out. I was miserable! A call to the pharmacist confirmed that some of my discomfort was due to the high doses and combination of meds I am taking. Nothing dangerous . . . just "regular side effects." I was told to continue all meds and stick it out until they could work. My mom came and watched Daniel until Joe woke up, and then he took over, letting me rest and recover. He has taken very good care of me, helping me with my meds and making me endless cups of tea. Thank you, Joe, for being such a good nurse!
So, that pretty much is the short version of the past two weeks or so.
What am I looking forward to?
This weekend is the school track meet, weather permitting.
After that, there are only two weeks of school left. I can't believe it. Really. It feels like we just got started. How can it be over?
This is Isaac's last year of grade school. Next year he will be a seventh grader. Wow. That is crazy to me. Sometimes, lately, I will look at him and I feel . . .overwhelming waves of love, and wonderment at his every growing self, and sadness that his little kid years are coming to an end, and anticipation for what lies ahead for him. It's all very mixed. And sometimes, that pre-teen craziness takes over, like Mr. Hyde, and I think . . . "who are you? And what did you do with my sweet little son?"
We are facing new parenting territory. There is no doubt about it. And we are doing it with hope and anticipation and excitement . . . and a little nostalgia. And some holy trepidation. What happens in the next few years will solidify things in him . . .ideas about the world, family, himself and God.
I find myself listening a little more closely, looking at him a little longer, hugging him a little tighter. He changes by the minute, it seems. Sometimes he is the boy. Sometimes he is the young man. And I think . . . "just a little longer, please. Be little just a little longer . . . "
But little has long been over. And I am enjoying this new young man in the house. Mostly. And when the pre-teen crazies raise their ugly head, we continue to love, continue to admonish, continue to teach character and Godliness, continue to hope for a good future, continue to ask God for answers we don't have. And he is faithful, as he is in everything!
One of my fondest memories of when Isaac was little, was giving him sink baths. He loved to sit in our deep sink in our first house, and I would fill it with water and bubbles. Patti and I would sit and talk and Isaac would play in the sink until he was a wrinkled prune of a boy, full of suds and clean as a whistle. We did sink baths with Jo, too, from the time he was very little. We'd put him in Gram and Gramp's sink, and grandma would talk to him and coo at him as we washed him clean , and he would turn his face to hers, and listen to her voice, and answer in smiles and soft baby speak. (I have lots of pics, but they are from the olden days, when we developed film and got our pics on photo paper, so until I can get a scanner . . . . they are in the photo box.)
I had almost forgotten about sink baths, until Monday evening, when , almost by accident, Daniel, who was sitting on the counter-top, looking out the window, asked to get into the sink. And get into the sink he did. He had a blast! And it brought back so many good memories of my other boys!
I am on the mend today. Still recovering a bit. And having had a high fever yesterday, I am still home today. But I look forward to tomorrow, when I will re-enter society and get back into the swing of things. I am ready to be better. I am ready to face my new days.
And who wouldn't be, with this little guy to keep up with?
He told me today when he gets big he's "gonna have a horse and a cow."
Just maybe.
FYI: I have added photos to my last post, so scroll down and take a look!