Thursday night family dinner

I am reading this great book by Noel Piper called Treasuring God in our Traditions (by the way, I'm one of those people who have 8-10 books I am currently reading piled up by the bed with bookmarks in them).
In it she gives three definitions for tradition. The first is: "a tradition is a planned habit with significance."
Every Thursday night, our family has just such a tradition. Family dinner.
Family dinner began shortly after gram and gramp moved here in Dec. 2001. My family, Patty, Gram and Gramp would eat together every Thursday night, our children gathered around the table, listening to the grown-up conversations, contributing stories and facts they had learned and sometimes talking about general silliness and providing sound effects as young boys are wont to do.
Grandpa and Grandma always found a way to bring the conversation back to God and his goodness, sharing wisdom, insights and stories of God's faithfulness to them through the years.
Then, in 2003, my mom and dad moved here and joined the party.
When Keira was living here, she would come too when she could.
Typically, though, there were nine settings.
Then, when dad passed away, there were eight.
Family dinner did not stop when dad died. In fact, we needed them and each other more than ever at that point.
Now, there are seven plates.
Soon enough, when Daniel gets a few more teeth and can sit with a plate in front of him without dashing it to the ground in a fit of curiosity about what-will-happen-if-I-throw-this, there will be eight once more.
And really, there are many, many times when Christian Bedore and Eddine Mureke and others come and partake with us, our sisters and brothers in Christ and very welcome members of our family. Tonight, we had Doug and Denise and Abby, and it was wonderful.
The family table. It is one of the most important meeting places in the world.
It is where our children hear and are heard.
It is where they learn who we are and who they are, and ultimately, who God is.
In his book Morning Sun on a White Piano, Robin R. Meyers says some thought provoking things about conversation and the family table. Here are a few of my favorites:
"The American home has become the noisiest place of utter silence on earth."

"Conversation is how values get ordered, how passion is made contagious. If a parent talks about it, it's important. If a child is allowed to join in the conversation, then that child becomes more than a table decoration, she has a part to play in the drama that is growing up. If her ideas count, then she counts. Children gain essential access to adulthood by being given a safe place to speak and by rehearsing their thoughts out loud before the most patient and supportive audience they will ever know."

"Sometimes all we are looking for in this life is a word from someone. A word of reassurance, a word of forgiveness, a word of reconciliation. The authentic life is worth talking about. Talking about it makes it more authentic still. It's time to move off the couch and get back to the table -- because we cannot live without the sound of each other."

"Resolve to talk more and be entertained less."
I love that our children are growing up with this tradition, this significant habit of Thursday night family dinner. I know they will carry memories of these nights far into their futures.
As it is, they now have some great memories of family dinners past with Gram and Pop. How glad am I that we took the opportunity to share that time with them? Those nights are priceless to us.
Tradition! (Of course, now I am singing a song from The Fiddler on the Roof in my head. Good movie, by the way.) I am looking for more ways to make it a part of our life, not just for the mere sake of having tradition, but for having traditions that serve a bigger purpose, that strengthen our relationships with God and with one another.
Back to Piper. She says, "In the book of Exodus, Moses displays his understanding of the nature of children and the responsibility of parents: 'And when your children say to you, "What do you mean by this service?" you shall say "It is a sacrifice of the Lord's passover for he passed over the houses of the people of Israel in Egypt. (12:26-27) Moses assumes children will ask why. And he instructs parents to give them an answer that speaks of reality. This instruction is all in the context of laying out for children ceremonies that will portray the answer. He is giving them the answer, both spoken and displayed. And the answer is God -- God saved us and we honor Him, worship Him, thank Him. We and our children need this kind of yearly repetition to impress us with the weight of what God has done."
So, this is what I am thinking about tonight.
One practical thing we have begun doing to facilitate "conversation" with one another, a new tradition, if you will, is leaving notes for each other on the kitchen table.
Because of Joe's work schedule, there are nights he is not here when the boys go to bed and mornings when he is sleeping before they head off to school.
One way we thought of to keep communication open is to keep large index cards and some pencils or pens on the kitchen table. Before the boys go to bed at night, they write their dad a note, and when they wake up in the morning, they find a reply waiting.
It is a fun way to tell each other things.
My intention is to keep all the notes and put them in a book. They will bring back loads of memories for the boys and us in years to come. I love Josiah's rendering of his dad and Brody the Police Dog (bottom pic).