Thursday, September 2, 2010

But I digress . . .

I know I am supposed to be working on a "catch up" post.
And I am.
I think more went on this summer than I thought, and I'm still collecting photos and stories and memories to record here. For posterity.
But I want to write about today.
Today, the sun is shinning. Not just shinning, but gleaming off pavement still wet from last night's rain.
Today, I sip coffee just warm enough to feel like my insides are wrapped up in a cozy blanket. Irish cream.
Today, I listen to the sounds of students coming to this class and going to that one. I think about my boys in their classrooms. All of them. All learning new things, maybe even right now, this moment. A new seed planted. A discovery made. Eyes opened a bit wider to the world out there.
Daniel is in preschool this year. He loves it. I love it too, but I miss my little man! I offered to let him stay home today, just because. "Are my friends gonna come over?" he asked, before committing to anything. "No. They'll go to class with Miss Patti." He looked at me with that, "I love ya, mom, but my life is calling" look and chose preschool. Who can blame him? There are songs and centers and friends and good snacks and books and Miss Patti and lots of cool things to learn and play with at preschool. "Wellllll . . . I'm gonna go to school," he decided.
The hesitation in his voice warmed my heart.
I usually walk him in to school in the mornings, and hang around a bit to make sure he's doing well (he is only three, after all). Last week, on a morning he was feeling particularly confident, he turned to me as soon as we walked in and said, "Mom, you can get my jacket from the other building." "Oh, okay. I will get your jacket and be right back," I said cheerily. I thought he must be cold. "No, mom." he replied. And in a kind whisper he said, "You can leave this place now."
It was his way of letting me know he was okay. His way of telling me it was okay to go. And it was done with such tact for a three year old, don't you think?
And so, I kissed him, and walked out into the warm morning.
They get big so fast.
And while there is great satisfaction in watching them grow, it stings a bit too.
Daniel in preschool is just one of the ways life is changing, moving around here.
I feel like, lately, everything is.
Change is good.
It brings growth and opportunities.
But dang; it sure is hard sometimes.
One thing I have been reminded of lately, though, is that no matter what earthly things may change, God never does. There is no shadow of turning in him. He is a rock. A fortress. A God in whom we can trust.
The sun comes through the trees. Makes leafy patterns on the floor, the wall that leap and move and dance and  . . . change. But, the sun. The sun is right where it always has been, and in its light, the beautiful patterns play.